The Lord’s Grace: I Was Sterile, but Now I Have My Own Child

By Zhen’ai

“Who shall separate me from the love of God? Shall tribulation, or distress…?” Whenever I hear this hymn, I am brimming with emotion: The Lord has bestowed countless grace upon me. In my despair, the Lord showed His great power to bring me hope; in time of danger, the Lord helped me out. His salvation is forever engraved in my heart. Everything in the past is still as fresh as ever in my memory, like it was yesterday.
After being married for several years, I hadn’t borne a child, and my family members were all worried about my husband and me, which made me feel more inferior. So, my husband and I, through an acquaintance, visited an old professor from the best provincial medical school. After an examination, the professor said to me, “You have an abnormal uterus, so you’re unable to get pregnant. Even if you make it, you will abort or have a deformed fetus.” The professor’s words made me very upset. I was only in my thirties and there was still a long way ahead of me. If I couldn’t have a baby, then how could I face my families? And how would my neighbors think of me? My husband asked the professor with anxiety, “Is it in any way treatable?” The professor answered, “If her fallopian tubes get unblocked, she may conceive. In that case, she needs to take medicine to keep the fetus healthy for six months, and after the baby is born, it needs to be kept in an incubator for a month. Only in this way will the baby survive.” My husband said, “We will have a try as long as there is a ray of hope.” Hearing the professor’s words, I seemed to see a silver lining. Therefore, I decided to receive the treatment regardless of how much it would cost. I thought of Samuel’s mother and Sarah in the Bible. At the time, there were no excellent medical skills or high-tech medical equipment of present times. They just prayed to Jehovah God, and God gave each of them a child. Thus, I should have faith in God. Didn’t it rest on a single word from God whether I could be cured and have my own child? Weren’t man’s abilities all given by God? These thoughts gave me a little comfort.
Afterward, I began to endure all kinds of unbearably painful treatments, but finally there was still no improvement in my condition. Seeing that, the professor said resignedly to me, “Every possible method has been employed and we’ve tried our best. You really can’t procreate.” His words were like a bucket of cold water dumped over me. Thinking of what the processor had said and how the treatments cost me money, time and energy, but were of no help to me, I felt utterly hopeless and oppressed. When I was in the most pain, I could only pray to the Lord. Then the words in the Bible came to my mind, “Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?” (Romans 8:35). I thought of those around me who sacrificed their entire lives for the Lord and had no children. In their old age, they were accompanied by many brothers and sisters, not alone at all. Why was I suffering over my failure to bear a child? Did this not show that I had no faith in the Lord? When I thought about this, I understood that there was nothing more important than gaining the Lord’s love and that the Lord would prepare what I needed. Whether I would have my own child was also in the Lord’s hands, and I was willing to entrust this matter to Him.
Therefore, I stopped seeking treatment and prepared to peacefully live out my life. I made up my mind: Regardless of whether I could give birth, I would not complain against the Lord, nor would I leave Him. No matter what happened, my faith to follow the Lord wouldn’t be shaken. Thereupon, I devoted all my energies to spreading the gospel and expending for the Lord.
After going on in this way for four years, I found that my abdomen got bigger and bigger, and my whole body felt weak. After being examined, it turned out that I was pregnant, which gave me a big surprise. But when facing this result, I not only didn’t feel delighted but became distressed: Being already forty years old, I was liable to have a difficult delivery. Also, if I gave birth to a deformed child, what would I do? Just then, I remembered a story from the Bible: After Jehovah God promised that Sarah would give birth to Isaac, was it not because of one statement of Jehovah God that Sarah truly did give birth at the age of ninety? This led me to see that in spite of my faith in the Lord I failed to believe in His almightiness and rule. As a result, I thought that I was at an age when I was prone to have a difficult labor and also worried that I would have a deformed child. Didn’t this show that I was of little faith like Sarah? Since all things are in God’s hands, wasn’t it even more so up to God whether my child could survive? So, I should have faith in God. With these things in mind, I felt much more relaxed.
One day in late July, when carrying water, I accidentally fell over with a bucket, and ended up lying on the wet floor. As a result, I had severe abdominal pain. I was very afraid, not knowing whether my baby would survive. At that time, my husband happened to be away on an errand, leaving me alone, and my relatives and neighbors were all busy with farm work, so I had no one to turn to. I could only continually pray to the Lord, asking Him to guide me. Later, one of my neighbors returned home just in time to see me, and then he hurriedly found someone to drive me to the town hospital. As I thought of how my condition was different from other pregnant women, the professor’s words surfaced again in my mind and made me feel very fearful. In pain, I kept praying to the Lord, “O Lord, I’m overage for childbearing and frequently ill. I have no idea whether my child can survive. I can only rely on You. Lord, my life is in Your hands. Regardless if I die or survive, I won’t complain. Please give me faith and strength.” After the prayer, I was not so frightened. As we turned the corner of the hospital, my husband, who had just returned, happened to meet us. My neighbor said to him, “What a coincidence! One more minute or two, you would miss us.” Hearing the words, my heart rejoiced and I knew that the Lord had listened to my prayers and allowed me to see His wondrous deeds. I poured out my thanks to the Lord.
After we arrived at the hospital, the doctor gave me an examination and they didn’t dare treat me due to the malpositioning of the fetus and my abnormal uterus, and because I was an elder primipara and had a special condition. They suggested me to go to the city hospital. Then we had to go to several other hospitals in the town, but they all refused to take me. In the process, my stomachache got increasingly serious. Facing all this, I felt very frightened and could only entrust everything to the Lord. Finally, we decided to go to the nearest neighboring town hospital. However, because of the bad road to this hospital and my physical condition, we failed to take a taxi. This caused me to be very anxious. When I was at my wits’ end, I could only pray to the Lord, “O Lord, please protect me so that I can hold on and wait for the car….” After that, I recalled a story in the Bible: When Israel was at war with Assyria, to convince King Hezekiah that Israel would win, God brought the shadow backward, extending the hours. With this in mind, I regained my faith and kept praying in my heart.
After an hour, my neighbor’s relative drove back to the town. Seeing that, I got very excited and knew that the Lord had prepared this car for me. I couldn’t help but think: “That my husband miraculously got back and this car showed up at this crucial time are all by the Lord’s sovereignty and arrangements. They are just in the nick of time.” At the thought of this, I gave true praise to the Lord from the bottom of my heart. At that time, murky storm clouds were coming toward us from the northwest. After we drove two or three miles, the rain began pouring down. As the road was uneven and muddy, we arrived at the country after almost five hours, from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. The unbearable pain in my stomach was killing me, giving me a feeling that I was about to die, so I desperately cried out to the Lord, “O Lord, I beg You to save me….” After the prayer, my stomach became less painful. When we got to the hospital, I became extremely weak, with my clothes and hair soaked with sweat and my face swollen. After an examination, the doctor didn’t say anything and directly let me lie on the birthing bed. Only at that moment did I feel relieved. My husband was terrified at my countenance and then told the doctor, “I decide to give up the baby. Please save my wife first!”
When I was in labor, I felt waves of pain and distress and so I prayed to the Lord in my heart, “O Lord, only You are my reliance. Please grant me faith and strength so that I can get through the most painful time.” After 9 p.m., however, I still hadn’t delivered, and I did not have an ounce of strength left, so I constantly prayed to the Lord. When I woke up, it was gone 10 p.m. and my child then came out safe and sound. The doctor told me that my child was in good health. Seeing that he wasn’t deformed, my heart was full of gratitude and praise to the Lord.
The following day, I was discharged from hospital and went back home. My neighbors came to see me one after another and they were all surprised at the fact that both my child and I were fine. The person who drove me to the hospital said, “Yesterday your countenance looked terrible. I had no idea whether you could return alive. You’re so lucky! Your baby is a gift from Heaven.” Some said, “Your belief in the Lord has really paid off. Both your life and your baby are given by the Lord.”
Hearing their words, I kept thanking the Lord in my heart. It was thanks to the Lord’s protection that I hung on in pain and helplessness. It was the Lord that gave me faith and strength, and allowed me to appreciate His authority and great power. More importantly, I understood even better that only God is man’s reliance, that God controls and dominates everything of us, and that God has the ability to do everything that people cannot do, which I had personally witnessed and experienced. It was God’s greatness that saved both my child and me. I was filled with infinite gratitude to God.
My son is 27 years old now, and every time I think of these events, I feel it hard to calm down. I can’t forget God’s great love for me, and I only wish to do all I can to repay it.

 

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