I’m 71 years old now. When I was young, I often worked overtimes till very late at night, trying to live a wealthy life. As a result, I suffered high blood pressure and lumbar spondylosis at the age of 40. However, I was reluctant to spend money on hospital treatments, so I only took some medicine at home. My illness became worse with age, high blood pressure often made me dizzy and my hands tremble, so that I was unable to hold things firmly. It brought many inconveniences to my life as well.
On April 22nd, 2017, I woke up with a headache. Thinking that it was only a chronic illness, I didn’t take it to heart and went to gathering. A sister fellowshiped to me after finding out my illness: “For your age, you should go to the hospital for a check-up. Don’t be so stingy to yourself. When we encounter sickness, on one hand we should pray to and rely on God; on the other hand, we also need to cooperate in reality. That’s to go to the hospital for treatment.” I did not pay much attention on what the sister said, thinking: This is not the first time. My headache has been around for over 20 years, and I have endured it for so many years, no big deal.
On May 2nd, I had an unbearable headache after dinner. I thought it was caused by high blood pressure and that maybe after taking medicine, I would be alright. At quarter past seven, I was getting ready for shower. Then all of a sudden, I fainted on the ground, unconscious. After around an hour, I was awaken by a severe headache. I felt that my head was going to explode, and everything was blurry before my eyes, which made me want to vomit. I tried my best to get myself on feet but to no avail. I thought: Last two times when I fainted because of high blood pressure, I was able to get up by myself. But now I’m home alone and I can’t get up by myself, will I die just like this? Thinking of this, I was afraid and felt helpless, so I prayed in my heart, “O God, I was reluctant to spend money treating my illness before. Now I can’t even get up. I know only You can save me. God, please save me.” After praying, I calmed down and had faith. At that moment, I realized God is my only reliance, there is nothing to be afraid of as I have God as my mainstay.
Then, I felt I had some energy, so I exerted all my strength to stand up by holding onto the wall. Because of my severe headache, my body was flaccid. I had to hold onto the wall and moved to bedside step by step. When I collapsed on the bed, I prayed to God silently in my heart for His protection. An hour later, my son returned home. When he turned on the light and saw me lying on the bed in pain, he asked in panic: “Mom, what happened to you? Which part of your body is not well?” “I suffered high blood pressure when I was having shower. I almost fainted to my death. Now I have a bad headache. It is just like there is a needle in my head.” I replied weakly. My son drove me to the hospital hastily. They sent me to the intensive care unit and the doctor gave me a full body check-up. The doctor said to me: “The tumor in your brain ruptured and bled a lot, but you are so fortunate. The consequences would be unpredictable if you came later.” Afterward, I overheard a discussion among a few doctors, “The patient’s condition is very serious. We must carry out the surgery right away, but the success rate is very low given her age. Even if it’s successful, she might have sequelae, maybe a dementia, or she might even be paralyzed or in vegetative state; the worst result is that she might die on the operating table. Still, if without surgery, her brain will be clogged by blood clots. That will also cause no blood circulation and lead to death. Time waits for no man, let’s inform her family to sign for the surgery.” I was afraid when hearing that no matter if I had surgery or not, I was in danger. I thought: For my age, if I became paralyzed or a vegetable, I can’t help myself in life and I will be a burden to my family, then I might as well be dead. When I thought about this, I felt miserable.
When I was afraid and in pain, I prayed to God again, crying out to Him for help. After praying, I felt that God is beside me and protecting me. It’s true that God is my only reliance, He is my rock and I should look to and rely on God with all my heart. Whether I will be dead or the surgery will be successful, or I will have sequelae, they are all in God’s hands. Thinking of this, I prayed to God submissively, and then I decided to do craniotomy.
Two days later, I did craniotomy. I prayed to God again and entrusted the surgery to Him. After the anesthetic took effect, I lost my conscious. I woke up after 6 hours of surgery, and found that my head was covered with layers of gauze, but there was no more pain and I had a clear mind. I knew I wasn’t dead, nor did I become a vegetable, so I couldn’t help expressing my gratitude towards God and prayed, “O God, I offer my heartfelt thanks to You! It’s You who bestow grace upon me and have mercy on me. If not, for my age I would have died on the operating table. Once again I experience Your love and salvation!” Meanwhile, Professor Lee came to check on my condition. He asked me to move my arms and legs and I did as what he said. He was surprised and said, “It’s surprising to see that you are able to wake up and move freely after such a dangerous surgery at your age. It’s really a miracle how successful your surgery goes! Through my so many years of experience, it’s very rare for patients at your age having red and flexible veins in their brain. Normally their veins are white and weak. When they fall sick, their blood vessels will explode and they will die, very less people can survive through it. You are lucky unquestionably. The granny next door who is about the same age as you also had craniotomy, but she has been in a coma for 3 days …” After I heard what the doctor said, I couldn’t express how grateful I am and thanked God incessantly in my heart.
20 days later, I was discharged back home. I said to my daughter in excitement, “It is all because of God’s salvation that today I can come back home and recover speedily. Even the doctors found it impossible. These made me truly feel God’s love. It’s God’s protection and guidance that kept me alive, so our whole family should thank God!” My daughter said, “You’re right mom! It’s truly a miracle that you are still alive! We indeed have to thank the God you believe in.”
Afterward, my neighbors also came to visit me, and they were all very surprised and said, “You are so fortunate and lucky. I have a relative who also did craniotomy but she suffered dementia after that. She couldn’t even recognize her family after discharging. Normally, it takes at least one or two years to recover to your current state, but now you recover so quickly and do not even leave any sequelae. You also look very lively and do not seem like a person who has done any surgeries!” Listening to what the neighbor said, I knew these were all God’s wonderful deeds. It’s God’s powerful hands that protect me and allow me to live unharmed. It’s God’s miraculous protection that makes me see God’s almightiness and sovereignty. God is truly controlling our destiny, and He is truly our only hope and reliance. Just like what the Bible says: “Yes, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for you are with me” (Psalms 23:4). “Because you have made the LORD, which is my refuge, even the most High, your habitation; There shall no evil befall you, neither shall any plague come near your dwelling. For he shall give his angels charge over you, to keep you in all your ways. They shall bear you up in their hands, lest you dash your foot against a stone” (Psalms 91:9-12).
By Zhang Jin