All of us want to have a happy marriage, yet how can we get it? After believing in the Lord, the author of this article saw what God arranges for people is the best. So she prayed to God, and submitted to God’s sovereignty and arrangements. Finally, she found a happy marriage. This article “After Obeying the Lord, I Found a Happy Marriage” will tell you how she gained it.
After Obeying the Lord, I Found a Happy Marriage
After I returned home, my father told me, “Peipei has divorced.” Hearing this, I was astounded and asked in surprise, “When did that happen?” “Several days ago. The custody of their child was awarded to the father and she has brought all her dowries back,” my father said thoughtfully.
After these words, I felt very puzzled: Peipei (my cousin) is beautiful and capable. When she married her ex-husband, their relatives and friends all looked favorably upon them. But why did they get divorced in just two years? Thinking of this, I asked my father, “She has been married for just two years. Why did she get a divorce?” “Peipei said her ex-husband had so many shortcomings that she couldn’t bear. But in my view, her ex-husband is honest and conditions in his family are good in every way. Unexpectedly, they couldn’t get along well,” my father replied.
Hearing these words, I couldn’t help feeling a little sad: In this age of the increasingly higher divorce rate, how long could the marriage last? How long could the love keep? And how could I find my Mr. Right from thousands of people? These questions reminded me of the year when I graduated.
At that time, girls would face the great matter of finding a partner to marry after graduation. Although there were some suitors pursuing me, I still felt uneasy, thinking none of them could be my Mr. Right. So, my marriage was delayed. In the blink of an eye, two or three years passed. My classmates and friends around me all got married, but I was still wavering.
My parents were so anxious about my marriage that they nearly phoned me up every day to hasten it. At the beginning, they had some requirements about my marriage partner. Yet afterward, they only wished me to get married as soon as possible, regardless of what kind of man my partner would be. At that time, under the pressure of my parents, relatives and friends, I really wanted to marry someone casually. However, whenever thinking of this, I would feel a vague panic in my heart, fearing that I would be unhappy in the future.
Later, I saw the following two verses in the Bible, “And Jehovah God took the man, and put him into the garden of Eden to dress it and to keep it” (Genesis 2:15). “And Jehovah God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him” (Genesis 2:18). In the beginning, God created Adam and then made him a help meet named Eve. What God arranges is the most suitable. However, I always thought that a happy marriage was gained by my own effort and luck. And I often complained about why I hadn’t met the man whom I could spend the rest of my life with. Now, I finally understood: Everyone’s marriage is up to God’s sovereignty and arrangements, but not his own desires. Because I had no knowledge of God’s sovereignty, nor did I entrust my marriage to God’s hands or seek His will, I brought myself suffering. Having understood this, I was willing to obey God’s guidance, so I prayed to God, bringing my marriage before Him and letting Him make the arrangements.
Subsequently, I opened up my heart and told my difficulties to my brothers and sisters. Then a sister fellowshiped to me, “Since we’ve believed in God, we should entrust everything to God’s hands, including our marriage. When finding a partner, we should let God be our master and decision-maker. Therefore, we need to ask God whether the man we want to choose is suitable for us, for only God sees right through the whole mankind and what He arranges is surely the most suitable.
“Besides, the key point is to consider whether our partners are like-minded with us. Look at the couples around us who don’t speak the same language. They have their own ideas all their lives. How can their marriage be happy? Like a sister around me, she married an unbeliever who pursues wealth. Her pursuit is truth but her husband’s pursuit is wealth. They have no common language with each other, so they live unhappily. Upon this basis, we should see whether the man we want to choose has good humanity, because finding a partner with good humanity is beneficial for our faith. Most importantly, we should pray more to God about this and see whether there is peace in our heart. Furthermore, we should let our brothers and sisters confirm whether our partners are suitable for us. Pray and seek more in this way, and God will guide us.”
After hearing this fellowship, I suddenly saw the light. We can’t see through man’s essence and what we see is his outward behavior, so we’ll be confused by his temporary false images. No wonder many married people say that marriage is the tomb of love. Before getting married, they were deceived by their partners’ false appearances. After marriage, they could only live in pain though feeling regret. God created man and is well acquainted with everyone’s nature, essence and humanity. Only God knows who is the most suitable for us, so what God arranges for us is the best, and only God can allow us to have a true happy life. From then on, I prayed to God that I was willing to find a partner who could walk the same way and worship God together with me.
After I prayed this way for a period of time, a high school classmate of mine, Xiaofei, who still liked me, suddenly entered my life. In the past, because he was introverted, I had never thought to marry him though he had been very kind to me. Now, I figured it out: Whether my marriage would be happy mainly depended on whether my partner could walk the same path with me, rather than whether he was good at speaking.
Then I spread the gospel to Xiaofei. Unexpectedly, he accepted it gladly. Afterward, we worshiped God, read God’s words, and shared our own experience and knowledge together. When encountering problems, we would pray to God together to seek the truth and then act in accordance with God’s words. In our interactions, I found that, Xiaofei didn’t speak flattering words ordinarily, yet he thought about me in every matter, and tolerated and forbore my willfulness.
Later, when speaking of us, the brothers and sisters who often attended church meetings with us all said that Xiaofei was really nice and was very suitable for me. Hearing such comments, I knew God had listened to my prayers and allowed me to find the most suitable partner. Before long, with the good wishes of our relatives and friends, Xiaofei and I got married.
After marriage, although our life was not so romantic or colorful, under God’s guidance, we had the same life direction and goal of pursuit. In our daily life, we learned to draw on each other’s strengths and forgive each other’s shortcomings. So, our hearts grew ever closer and our life became increasingly happy. Especially, a thing that happened recently made me more deeply experience that only in the marriage arranged by God existed happiness.
Not long ago, my brother was in financial straits. Then I, without hesitation, lent him the money Xiaofei and I saved for building a house. And I also applied for a loan to save his business. In total, I lent him nearly 100,000 yuan. Unexpectedly, his business failed. Hearing this news, I felt very sad, for I knew how Xiaofei worked hard to earn money these years. I couldn’t imagine, under the great pressure in today’s society, what Xiaofei would become when he knew his hard-earned money came to naught. I thought: Even though he complains about or blames me, I will have nothing to say, for all this happened because of me.
To my surprise, after knowing that thing, Xiaofei not only didn’t say anything that complained about or blamed me, but comforted me, saying, “Don’t think too much. How much wealth we have in life is predestined by God. So, we can’t keep the money if it doesn’t belong to us. Now that we’ve lost our money, it shows that it isn’t ours. Forget we ever had this money.”
When I heard him constantly consoling me, I really couldn’t believe my ears. I had thought he would say a few words that complained about me at least. To my surprise, he not only didn’t blame me, but constantly comforted me to reduce my pressure.
Besides feeling moved, I had a deeper appreciation of God’s love. If I hadn’t entrusted my marriage to God or accepted God’s sovereignty and arrangements, I can’t imagine what my marriage life would be. Compared with the sisters in my family, I am the most inconspicuous and incapable. Yet some of them suffer great pain brought by marriage. On the contrary, I have a happy marriage. I know that that I can have it is because of the Creator’s wondrous arrangement, and God’s grace and blessing. Thank God!