Autumn Reflections

Autumn has come, all the greens seem to have changed in an instant. Leaves on the roadside are bright red and light yellow. Everything is so quiet and beautiful. However, in my memory, the grass has just turned green along with the refreshing earth’s fragrance, which makes me reveled in the spring season. The noise of the hometown city gradually faded away and disappeared, and every tree and bush of the United States is taking root in my heart. Now the autumn’s peace and serenity are unfolding in front of my eyes. Although there are many leaves on the road and although the leaves trembled in the autumn wind, there are no sadness and loneliness in my heart. And I will never contradict the Lord’s orchestrations and arrangements.

I remembered before coming to the United States, when thinking that my mother was already in her seventies and that I would probably never be able to see her again, I felt upset. The words of the Lord Jesus clearly appeared in my mind at that moment: “Who is my mother, or my brothers? … For whoever shall do the will of God, the same is my brother, and my sister, and mother” (Mak 3:33-35). “Go you into all the world, and preach the gospel to every creature” (Mak 16:15). Instantly, an inexpressible feeling crept over me. I thought: “How can I go against the will of the Lord? For the sake of redeeming mankind, the Lord Jesus was willing to humble Himself as a person, enduring humiliation and at last being crucified for man. Whose love can be compared to His? I know very well that my mother is on the path of pursuing worldly things. Although I have spread the gospel to her numerous times, she was confused and did not seem to understand me, letting my words go in one ear and out the other. She would even scold me, saying she gave birth to me and raised me but I was unfilial. She even hated me for believing in the Lord Jesus.” I genuinely feel that there are many things in the world that we can’t change. Everyone is on the path led by the Lord Jesus, no one can change it. Finally, I chose to leave my hometown and came to the other side of the ocean.

One day, when I missed my mother again, I recalled what the Lord said: “If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brothers, and sisters, yes, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple” (Luk 14:26). At this point I really had nothing to say. I knew I was born in the last days and I did not come to the world in vain but with a mission. I couldn’t help but think about those missionaries who came to China to spread the gospel in those years. At that time, China was far from the western countries in terms of industry and economy. The Chinese ideas were also backward, but the western missionaries were not afraid of sufferings and adversities. They spread the gospel throughout China. Many missionaries devoted their entire lifetime and even their lives to spread the gospel in China, laying down their heads and shedding their blood. There were countless of people who were martyred for the gospel. … Thinking of this, I felt that I had suffered too little compared to those missionaries. I did not possess the loyalty they had. At this moment I felt I was so indebted to the Lord. I used to bustle back and forth for my parents and family. Now I shouldn’t consider my own interests and hurt the Lord’s feelings. The Lord can lay down His life for me and do everything for the sake of me, then why can’t I devote myself to Him? Shouldn’t children honor their parents without any condition? Right now I gain strength and faith in my heart. I happily kneel down to pray to the Lord: “O Lord. In the blink of an eye, it has been two years since I came to the United States. Although I suffered and cried a lot these past two years, You did not abandon me. From every experience, I have realized Your care and protection for me and also appreciated Your real and actual love …

By Momo

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