By Lu Yan, China
“Lu Yan, be cautious on the bus. There are too many pickpockets nowadays. You should be careful not to have your bank card stolen in your bag….” Since we got on the bus to the bank near my school, my mom kept nagging me.
I always felt my mom’s constant chatter to be unnecessary, because I thought I was already a senior high school student and knew common sense. As a result, I disregarded what my mom had said, and after getting off the bus, I hurriedly went toward the bank to withdraw money carrying the bag on my back.
Seeing my carelessness, my mom said to me solemnly, “Be careful. You’re too careless when walking down the street. If someone comes running and snatches your bag, how will you sign up without money? Quickly, hold it to your chest.”
Not thinking much of my mom’s words, I showed a look of impatience and thought, “I have a higher level of education, so don’t I know more than you? Also, there is no cash in my bag, and even if a thief steals my bank card, he cannot withdraw the money without the pin number, so what is there to fear? Besides, I can withdraw money over the counter, and it’s not a big problem. You really don’t need to worry.” Hence, I still kept walking to the bank as I pleased. And I urged impatiently, “Come on, Mom!”
With that, I turned my head and saw my mom’s face fell and scowled like a thundercloud, which made me realize that she became angry. I gasped in fear, and had to do as she said before her oppressive gaze. Then, with a curl of my lip, I ignored her and said to myself, “Really, I wasn’t born yesterday. You keep an eye on me even when I do such a small thing. Humph! You always order me around and compel me to do as you want. If I don’t do so, you’ll be angry. It’s really annoying. I don’t want to come out with you anymore.” I angrily went to withdraw money, leaving my mom walking alone in embarrassment behind me.
After withdrawing money and getting into the school, I thought that since my mom had safeguarded me to the school, she should trust me to check in by myself. Then I unhesitatingly said, “Mom, it’s fine that I sign up alone. You can go now. It’s safe in the school. Nobody will rob me. Don’t worry!” To my surprise, after some thought my mom was still concerned about me and decided to continue accompanying me to book in. Also, she told me again and again, “Lu Yan, remember to watch your money. Don’t show off. Hold the bag to your chest….”
Again facing my mom’s nagging, I blackened and my heart was not convinced, “Could it be that in your eyes, I cannot do anything right? You don’t trust me to do even such a small thing as signing up.” I strongly excluded her frequent words that seemed to belittle me, so I disapprovingly said, “Okay, Okay.” At that point, I was itching to have my mom leave as soon as possible and no longer wanted to listen to her nagging, so I subconsciously found excuses to have her go home, saying, “Mom, go back quickly. You have many things at home to take care of.” After I urged her again and again, my mom left reluctantly.
Looking at my mom leaving, I could not help but be filled with sly delight because finally nobody nagged me. But the thought of my mom’s attitude toward me made me feel incredibly pent-up. No matter how old I was, she always regarded me as a child and thought that I was ignorant of everything and couldn’t do anything, so no matter what I did, she would instruct me. Then when I knew that other students’ parents all trusted them to sign up themselves, I was puzzled, “I can do things well, but how come my mom is always anxious about me?”
That afternoon, my whole mind became filled with that thing. I hated that my mom always treated me like a baby and constantly nagged me. I even thought, “After graduation, I’ll go to the furthest place to work and return home once a year or won’t go home. This way, I won’t need to listen to my mom’s nagging.” I vented my dissatisfaction with my mom by thinking about this, but I was still depressed. At that time, I could only pray silently to the Lord, “O Lord, my mom always nags me, so I hates her very much. I’m a Christian and I’m aware that doing this isn’t right. But I don’t know what is Your will. Please enlighten me.”
Later, when reading the Bible, I saw these words in the Book of Proverbs, “Your father and your mother shall be glad, and she that bore you shall rejoice” (Proverbs 23:25). Comparing myself to them, I felt guilty because I did not delight my mom. I thought that I have had some cultural knowledge and so I could do everything and that my things at school were very easy for me to deal with. This was why when my mom reminded me to look out for pickpockets and take good care of my money, I thought her worries were unnecessary and developed a strong distaste for her reminder, so much so that I did not want to stay with her for a moment longer. I even wanted to find a job far from home and thereby no longer needed to listen to her nagging. Thinking about it carefully, I realized that my mom’s views actually weren’t necessarily wrong, because now social order wasn’t good and pickpockets were everywhere. When I was out, she reminded me to watch money a few times in the hope that I could do things in a calm and steady manner rather than in a careless one. My mom’s nagging was to care for and cherish me. However, I always disdained it, thought that her reminder was unnecessary, and I frequently fixed my eyes on her and felt she was wrong but never reflected on my own problems—I was too arrogant and irrational. The Lord Jesus taught us, “And why behold you the mote that is in your brother’s eye, but consider not the beam that is in your own eye?” (Matthew 7:3). I understood from these words that because I always felt that my mom was wrong and at fault but failed to see my own problems, I could not treat her fairly and was often at loggerheads with her, causing her to be unhappy and our relationship to be tense. I was a believer in God, so I should not be arrogant and self-conceited, but should be humble, hear my mom’s right suggestions more, learn to think myself into her place, and understand her, for only in this way could I get along peacefully with her.
In a blink of an eye, it was the end of the month. After arriving home, I chatted with my mom as I was helping her do housework. Just then, she asked me how did I get home. I answered, “By shared bicycle.” Then she said, “Why did you not take bus but insist on riding bike? Weren’t you tired? I heard taking that kind of bike costs more than twenty yuan once. You think you’re very rich? …” Hearing my mom say this, I could not help but feel some resistance. I was just about to retort but realized that I couldn’t rely on my arrogant disposition to do that which would make her angry, because doing so did not please the Lord. So I prayed silently to the Lord, “O Lord, You know that I am small in stature. I’m afraid that I’ll reason with my mom with anger. Please protect my heart.” After praying, my heart was slowly calmed.
Then I quietly heard my mom out. It turned out that she was worried that I would be cheated and thus reminded me not to ride that kind of bike at will because she heard the charge for it was unreasonable. Having learned that my mom had a misunderstanding about the charge, I calmly explained that to her in detail. Then she understood and no longer nagged me; I felt very delighted. My mom also said that she did not want me to be tired and so asked me not to ride bike, because she once rode a bike to the town for shopping and she felt exhausted due to the long distance. After learning of my mom’s thoughts, I saw I was too conceited and that in the past I always had no patience to hear my mom out, so I could not understand her kindness.
Afterward, when my mom’s advice was appropriate, I would accept it; if not, I would tolerate and understand her, and communicate with her patiently. I no longer hated my mom’s chatter. In this way, we had more and more topics to talk. Seeing that I spoke and did things in a steady manner and was not that brash or arrogant, my mom therefore nagged me less. Thank the Lord!